"I'm on Aslan's Side".

"I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia."

In the past few days I've been struggling with doubt. I've talked to several people who called into question the validity of the Bible. They don't believe because factual evidentiary support for the Bible isn't certain.

Belief in the fact that the God of the universe cares for us, died for us can't be purely intellectually founded. It requires faith, and that bothers me.

I want things to be certain, for the truth to be objective, self-evident, tangible, black-and-white. But it's just not that simple. I doubt like Thomas. I'm just not lucky enough to have the chance to place my hands in the wounds of Jesus.

I have encountered Jesus--just not in a physical way. It's because of this that doubt can get such a strong foothold in my life. And that's just what it had done earlier this week.

"I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia."

I don't remember what I dreamt about last night, but I do know that I woke up with this quote fixed firmly in my mind. I don't quite know how it got there.

I don't know how my subconscious pulled it to the surface of my thoughts. It's been 3 or 4 years since I read C.S. Lewis' The Silver Chair in which Puddleglum makes this powerful declaration. Actually, I take that back...I know why that quote was emblazoned in my thoughts. It was a "God-Thing". He knew exactly what I needed to calm my pensive, doubting, fearful heart.


"Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's small loss if the world's as dull a place as you say."

"I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it." At that moment the doubt that had consumed me was drowned in grace. I've realized that it doesn't matter if I'm right...or if I'm wrong. I want this life because if this world is all there is, then I agree with Puddleglum: "Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one." I want this life more than anything of this world. Jesus is mine. And I am His. And nothing else matters.

I love the gentle ways that God makes his truth known to me. I'm not like Moses; He doesn't speak to me from a burning bush. And I'm not like Mary; He doesn't send angels to declare his word. But, when I least expect it, I wake up some mornings with sweet reminders that even though I'm blind to his greatness, even through I'm too stupid to see him for who he truly is, that My Jesus is more beautiful than anything else I could ever want.

"I'm on Aslan's side"....not because the intellectual evidence is undeniable, but because Jesus has called me and I want his life more than anything else in the world. "I'm on Aslan's side," and I know that King Jesus leads it.